t’s 6:45AM on Friday March 11th, 2011.  I’m 30 (though technically… I don’t think I turn 30 until sometime around 8PM tonight).  I’ve been thinking quite a bit the past few months about this impending “turn over in time.”  Maybe it’s because people live longer now, or they wait longer to get married, or they change careers sometimes a few times before they turn 30… but it just doesn’t seem like this big traumatic event anymore.  In fact, most people I know, who are either turning 30 themselves soon or are already in their 30s, say they welcomed it and were glad to see their 20s go.  I would have to put myself in that camp.

That now cliche quote from “A Tale of Two Cities” pretty much sums up my 20s: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”  It’s hard to believe that at the beginning of the decade, I was still in college.  That seems like a lifetime ago.  I think the 20s are akin to purgatory… it’s this odd time between childhood/dependence and adulthood/independence where you’re forced to figure life and yourself out before you can move onto the next phase with a higher understanding.  It’s probably when people make most of their biggest mistakes (the fun ones and the REALLY not fun ones…).  I went into my 20s with a one-track vision: become the most famous singer in the world, and be like 100 pounds thinner.  Neither happened, and as I sit here this morning, I can honestly say “who cares.”  I have learned to let go of so many things in my 20s.  I let go of the idea in my head of the person I thought I was supposed to be, which was mostly routed in what I thought OTHER PEOPLE thought I was supposed to be.  I learned to let go of friends and situations that did nothing to serve me, but instead held me back and brought me down.  I learned that loyalties should not go unchecked.  I learned what it takes to REALLY have good relationships… and that I should never sacrifice myself for the happiness of someone else.  If someone cares about you, they will always try to meet you halfway.  I have learned to not hold onto the past and to not be afraid of change.  One of the best things I did for myself in my later 20s was to sell or giveaway everything that wouldn’t fit into the back of my jeep, and move to the west coast.  I sacrificed proximity to my friends and family, but it was necessary for me to feel like I could stand on my own two feet.  With that said… I also learned I have the best family in the world.

The last year, I have been teaching music a tremendous amount, and it has given me a completely different perspective on myself and the kind of person I want to be for the next portion of my life.  Life is all about reciprocity, and I feel like giving to and sharing with my students has brought me so many blessings.

Most importantly, I learned that happiness is a choice, and I hope that I can remember that even in my most difficult hours.

So what are my birthday plans?  I am going to celebrate my further step into adulthood by honoring all things childlike.

I’m going to Disneyland!

 

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